Jerusalem

Aug. 30th, 2010 09:58 pm
epershand: "when we have found all the meanings and lost all the mysteries we will be alone on an empty shore" (Alone on an empty shore)
Today when I was at work and didn't want to be, I determined that a much better idea than fiddling with JavaScript was plotting my ideal HBO TV show with [profile] olivia_circe. Picture it...

JERUSALEM, a new HBO series.

It would cover roughly 0-73 CE. You've got everything you need for a TV show along the lines of Rome or The Tudors:

The corrupt royal family: Herod is the corrupt King of Judea for season one. He executes all his wives and half his children. He builds Masada. He builds Caesaria. He re-builds the walls of Jerusalem and executes the architects. You get the picture.

Herod dies at the beginning of season one, at which point you get Herod Antipas, Herdias, and Salome in Gallilee, and Herod Archelaus in Judea. Drama! Incompetence! Pontias Pilate shows up because Archelaus can't handle the job! His hands are very clean!

The meta-historical injokes: Look, you just have to accept that Josephus Flavius will be a main character, and he will constantly be making references to the fact that he is totally writing this all down, so there. PS Dear Romans, will you take me back with you to Rome I hate it here love Josephus.

The obligatory cameos: The finale of season one is when Jesus shows up and Herod Antipas and Pontius Pilate have to cope with the political ramifications. In season two Saul shows up but changes his name after a trip to Damascus and starts founding a new religion. Season three is just Masada, because why the heck not?

The high-budget re-creation of historical tragedy: The season two finale is the destruction of the Second Temple. Totally epic special effects. And wait until you see the digital reconstruction of Masada.

The dubious morals: So, you've got corrupt, oppressive Roman officials. You've got the Zealots, who are in the Top Forty of Religious Extremists Who Made Poor Choices. Josephus is a collaborator. Paul keeps writing wacky letters to everybody. Bottom line, nobody is very sympathetic, and they are all very compelling, just as they should be.

The wacky modern character insertions The Pullo and Vorenus analogs are a pair of women who start relatively young, but by the end have been sold into slavery and wind up being the sole survivors of Masada. Then they hang out with Josephus and tell him the story. In between, they are everything to everybody, they accidentally inspire any number of historical events. For instance, maybe they try to serve Peter shellfish in Jaffa! Also they make lots of snarky commentary.

The questionable timeline: If you are following along with me while also looking at a history, you might notice that season 1 is 4 BCE-4 CE, season 2 is 4-70 CE, and season 3 is 70-73 CE. But I have seen Rome and I tell you, time is pretty fluid.

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