here we go again
Mar. 1st, 2026 01:00 am( How the day went )
(no subject)
Feb. 28th, 2026 06:46 pmI've had some really intense days, between work being extremely busy and other responsibilities, and today, a Saturday, was supposed to be my day off. Properly off, off. Sleep in late, zero plans except to wash my hair and tidy up around the apartment. Watch TV, maybe write a little, cuddle in bed. Rest.
Instead I was woken up at 8:26am by a missile siren.
Those sirens haven't stopped so far, it's currently about 7pm. At some point I stopped counting how many there were. On average there have been about one every 20-30 minutes for me, since the first one. Which means in the morning there were about 1.5 hours of quiet, and then there were hours in the afternoon with a siren every 10 minutes.
I say siren, but of course what I mean is I hear massive explosions happening in the air above my building. I can't go downstairs, nevermind for a walk, because of how frequent it's been, and how genuinely scary.
For the past ~six months I've been walking past destroyed city blocks several times a week, on my way to catch a tram to work. Entire streets with houses wiped out completely, apartment complexes reduced to rubble. And then a radius of many more streets with "only" shattered windows, knocked out doors, cracked walls from the shockwaves. Building after building after building. Turn after turn after turn. Until I get to the tram station, and then ride for 30 minutes to the skyscraper where I work, that stands next to the ruins of another skyscraper, that was destroyed by a missile.
I'm not good in the mornings, I don't eat dinner most days, my meals are breakfast and lunch. So I wake up hungry and need to eat something as soon as possible to start functioning.
Because today was planned as slow and lazy, I didn't think I'd need to function quickly at all. I thought I'd lazy about in bed, and then slowly assemble food depending on my level of energy.
Instead I had to hop out of bed and run to a bomb shelter. The bomb shelter that's in my house, that will not actually protect me in any way in case of a direct hit (see destroyed buildings above) but will help in case of a shockwave.
I was so exhausted afterwards I collapsed in bed. And then another siren. After that one I knew I had no choice, I HAD to eat or I was going to start collapsing. But I wasn't capable of cooking. Of course, there's no food delivery, because bombs falling from the sky.
I managed to at least change out of my PJs and make tea, and then the third siren happened.
The tea - green, fresh leaves, the very finest kind I have, from a small company that imports directly from farmers in China, because I knew this was the small effort that would make all the difference today, rather than some emergency teabag - did help me focus a bit, at least. Feel a bit more human.
After the fourth siren I knew cooking was out of the question, and rifled through the mishloakh manot I got from work yesterday (how fortunate we had our work event before the holiday itself) for any sort of candy with substance. There was a chocolate wafer snack, so that's what I ate, and then tried to move on with my day.
Which is to say with trying to do something other than just cuddle in bed and run to the shelter every time there was a siren (as there were a lot).
I felt... bad. Generally nauseous, unfocused, slightly out of breath. Exhausted, even when I was watching stuff on TV from the couch.
I tried to cling to some kind of productivity. I emptied and refilled the dishwasher. I put on laundry. I thanked all the gods above and below that I happened to already have food in the fridge for lunch, even though just heating it up turned out to be a challenge. It took 3 tries, with different sirens.
I only ate lunch when I started to feel like I was about to faint. Before that it was hard to make myself heat up food, or think about eating. Everything is just so scattered in my head.
It's time for dinner now, since I didn't really have breakfast.
Even though I know I should just try to go to sleep. I'm sure there will be endless sirens in the night. If an hour goes by without one, I'll be surprised.
I'm feeling faint and weak again but there's no energy to cook and no food delivery, of course. It took 2 sirens for me to boil a few eggs. Once they cool down I'll do that. I need to think about tomorrow's breakfast as well.
Tomorrow is work. The schools and so on are closed, but I work in tech and the company is global and our survival - my paycheck, my ability to stay afloat - depends on everyone believing our productivity is unaffected by these events.
So, work from home as usual. Half my local coworkers were 100% working from home anyway because Ramadan, so in a way it's all business as usual.
I know I need to take care of myself. Food. Cooking. Seeing people, even though travel anywhere including to a neighboring building is impossible right now. Creating a more or less correct estimation of how functional I can be at work so I can make decisions based on that.
Not doing well, and didn't actually want to write this post. Instead, want to write about the things that make me happy. Media, mostly, but also fic.
But I can't because just writing this, which has seemingly spilled out of me unbidden, has been to much effort and energy, and I need to go rest now.
Bits and bobs
Feb. 28th, 2026 04:21 pmWe Were Here: The Untold History of Black Africans in Renaissance Europe:
In his groundbreaking documentary, We Were Here, Kuwornu shares the diverse African presence in Renaissance Europe that he found: princes, ambassadors, saints, artists, scholars, and knights—all revealed through art from the period.
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This is an older piece but I don't think I've posted it before: Taking Photos of the First Women’s Liberation Conference
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Q&A: Bidding farewell to the Ironbridge Gorge Museum Trust:
The Shropshire site, which comprises 10 museums and 35 listed heritage buildings, is transferring to the custodianship of the National Trust on 2 March after a challenging period that saw it grapple with severe flooding and falling visitor numbers.
Supported by a £9m government investment, it is hoped the takeover will secure the site’s long-term future and enable it to benefit from the National Trust’s high profile and visitor expertise.
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Ultraprocessed food: whaddya know, It's All More Complicated.... People want to avoid ultra-processed foods. But experts struggle to define them - not all are junk foods.
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Who ARE these people
Feb. 27th, 2026 03:34 pmThis seems somehow to link on to earlier posts this week - a lot of my memories of childhood reading/being read to are associated with episodes of illness!
Posted in a group on Facebook: 'A book you read as a child yet still think about today'.
WOT.
Just So Many.
The various classic works of children's literature that have become culturally embedded in references and allusions - the Alice books, the Pooh books, The Wind in the Willows, the Jungle Books, The Secret Garden, Little Women et seq, the Katy books -
Ones that are perhaps not quite so iconic? like the Little Grey Rabbit books.
A whole mass of girls' school stories and pony books. A fair amount of Enid Blyton though I'm not sure I think about any specifics there.
Various anthologies and collections - some stories still remembered - classic fairytales, myths, etc.
Plus things like Pears Cyclopaedia and The Weekend Book
And I do, in fact think about things like, the attitude towards The Scholarship Girl in The Making of Mara in what is actually the unposh, girls' day school, to which her father sends snobbish Mara. (Only this week when thinking about educational privilege....)
Plus, I will mention yet again being absolutely traumatised by Marie of Roumania's The Lily of Life.
Media Roundup: Onward!
Feb. 26th, 2026 03:56 pmIn other news I have now read more books this year than I did all of last year, which is pretty wild! Like sure they are all short things but I’m just reading so much more than I was few months ago and it’s really nice.
Red Threads by Ila Nguyen-Hayama—A graphic novel about a 15 year old girl in Tokyo who is invited to attend a magical school. This was very cute and charming if a little heavy on the info dumping about Japanese folklore. I really liked the main character's friendship with another girl at school.
Lumberjanes, Vol. 8-14 by N.D. Stevenson and Shannon Watters, et al.— I’d read up through Vol 10 years ago, but now I’m at stuff I haven’t read before. Still very fun!
Lumberjanes/Gotham Academy by Chynna Clugston Flores et al. —A crossover between two very fun comics both featuring teams of teens who deal with supernatural mysteries – I enjoyed it a lot! I wish there was more time for cross team interactions but it would be hard to fit in and keep focus on the story
Animated Batman—It’s nice to be into media that my kid also is interested in. She doesn’t watch anything with subtitles, but she likes Batman. So I’ve watched a handful of episodes of the 90’s animated Batman with her. (I started from where she’s gotten to before so not at the beginning) In terms of Bat-fam its not doing a lot, most of the kids/sidekicks aren’t in this and those that are aren’t around much (though I’m told they show up more frequently latter on) However the show itself is very well crafted! I’m impressed with both the animation (the style! The attention to detail) and the storytelling
Odds and ends
Feb. 26th, 2026 06:14 pmI've posted occasionally about Maria Sibylla Merian, this sounds like an interesting book on her and her art.
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The funding to save the area surrounding the Cerne Giant for the National Trust has been raised: any further donations will go to habitat creation and increasing access.
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Exhibition: North Staffordshire Miners’ Wives Action Group Archive (formed in response to the 1984 miners’ strike,members have been actively campaigning for over 40 years).
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Martyrdom, Misrepresentation and the ‘Tolpuddle Martyrs’ (I was at uni with a Loveless descendant). And I discovered that the Internet Archive has a recording of the BBC Home Service broadcast of Miles Malleson and H Brook's Six Men of Dorset.
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More rather horrifying reports coming out about the surrogacy industry: Embryo couriers, student egg donors and cut-price surrogates. Journalist Alev Scott investigates northern Cyprus’s booming baby business — where Brits head for cheap treatment, gender selection and lax legislation.
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The National Archives is hosting the exhibition 'Love Letters', exploring 500 years of expressions of love. This exhibition captures the voices of paupers and monarchs, reflecting friendships, romance, and more. But why does love appear in government documents?
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Recovering “Lesbian” Voices in the Middle Ages: Twelfth and Thirteenth Century Germanic Mystics.
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The Rohonc Codex: Hungary’s Mysterious Manuscript That No One Can Read
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Week 20
Feb. 25th, 2026 11:47 pmOTHERWISE:
-Winter Olympics were amazing, why do we only get them once every few years, how are snow and ice sports so beautiful and fascinating and aesthetically pleasing.
-I would like to read fic but honestly I have just fallen down the rabbit hole of m/m sports romance novels, starting with everything Rachel Reid has to offer, then KD Casey, now Ari Baran, and who knows what's next, with a slight detour into warm and cozy Kind by Hannah Leigh. I feel like at SOME POINT I should stop. If you ask me to tell apart all the different couples I've read about in the past 2 weeks I would be hard pressed to explain all the different characters and plots. And yet.
-Enjoying the new season of The Pitt and a few other show's I'm following, but nothing makes me as happy (and heartbroken, but mostly happy) entertainment-wise as watching a new episode of Shrinking every week. Just, how is that show so good.
-Nature! It's one of the warmest winters I can recall, less rain and warmer weather and a shorter green period, but there are still winter flowers, and I do my best to hike and picnic on the weekends as much as I can. This past weekend I went up to the Golan with a friend, just 2 days of walking around the peace and quiet of the green green north, which was incredibly lovely. The weather makes it constantly feel like Passover is just around the corner, which is disorienting and kind of nice and kind of not.
On Saturday I went to an incredible production of Cabaret. It's one of my favorite musicals to see in live theater, and this production really was incredibly, 360-stage Kit Kat Club and all, and I might have written more if I weren't falling asleep but I very much am, alas.
Still here
Feb. 25th, 2026 03:25 pmHow are you?
Wednesday dutifully attended the Fellows' symposia
Feb. 25th, 2026 06:04 pmWhat I read
Finished Eleven Hours to Murder and went on to Death by the Dozen, which combine the cozy antics of Cat Caliban and her posse with mysteries tending to be rooted in past historical events in and around Cincinnatti. And Cat is after all pursuing a career as a PI, rather than taking up some quirky midlife career and just stumbling over bodies. And her partner is a retired cop who used to work in Juvie, not homicide. So counter to a lot of the recurrent tropes....
Then I realised, oops, that next meeting of in-person book group appears to be next Sunday - though I have not received any further notification since exchange of emails after the last meeting - so I have been reading Anna Funder, Wifedom: Mrs Orwell’s Invisible Life (2023), which is blurbed as 'genre-bending', meaning it does things I am not that on board with, i.e. the writer's personal stuff/odyssey and b) fictionalising bits as narrative. Though I am marking it up somewhat for her realisation that her Great Hero G Orwell was A Horror. I daresay a lot of his trouble with being basically incapable in managing matters and practicalities was down to class and educational background but you'd have thought he might have cottoned on to some of that? rather than blithely eating up the whole of their butter ration? (fairly minor in the overall marital picture).
On the go
Read a bit more in I Am a Woman but still feeling a bit bogged down, even if Laura has finally had a night of sapphic passion.
Elizabeth George, A Slowly Dying Cause (Inspector Lynley Book 22) (2025). Fortunately this was a Kobo deal. Phoning it in. Also getting rather bogged down. 20% in and only just getting a sight of Lynley, let alone Havers. Includes great chunks of autobiographical reminiscence from the corpse.
Have also made some progress on volume for review.
Up next
Have apparently manifested, in place where I would never have thought to look for it, GB Stern, The Woman in the Hall (1939), which I had been fruitlessly looking for elsewhere, with a notion of maybe recommending for book group, as has recently been reissued for the first time since 1939 by British Library Women Writers.
As Rose Red said in the Katy books -
Feb. 24th, 2026 04:34 pm'I'm so glad I didn't die with the measles when I was little!'
Thinking a bit further about that education meme and the line You were in relatively good physical and mental health.
Well, on the one hand, I had my vaccinations for smallpox, diphtheria and whooping cough all in order at a young age.
I did, however, get measles, chickenpox and mumps once I started school and they were going around. And in those days if you had an infectious disease you were obliged to stay off school for a designated quarantine period (and return your library books to the Public Health Department for fumigation).
I think scarlet fever was still around though rare, and I have a vague recollection of some child at the school actually dying from it?
Polio vaccination only came in when I was 7 or 8.
I suffered from severe tonsillitis until they removed them when I was 6, I am not at all sure, in the light of present thinking on the subject, that this was necessary, but it was very common.
In less dramatic health interventions, I mention the free codliver oil, orange juice and milk bestowed by a munificent government.
I am a little surprised, in retrospect, that my short sight wasn't picked up through testing at school, but in fact my mother noticed me squinting at things and took me for an eye-test.
I feel that I had fair amounts of time off from school being ill one way and another (besides the aforementioned epidemic diseases and operation) - not to mention the appendectomy and its after-effects when I was at uni - but that this didn't have any major adverse impact.
At the grammar school I was tagged for remedial exercises to do with the way I walked (on the outsides of my feet?): am not sure this had any effect whatsoever.
My migraines were not identified as such.
Period pains were after the way of womanhood, pretty much.
On the whole, relatively good health. A certain amount of mental stress, especially at uni.
That educational privilege meme thing
Feb. 23rd, 2026 06:16 pmAnd I'm not at all sure it's culture-neutral, hmmmm?
Okay, I had parents who had books in the house and read to me and once I could read took me to the local library to get tickets for the children's department.
No children's museums that I recall but visiting the rather dull local one attached to the public library, and visits to local sites of historical interest.
My primary school was not, I think, particularly distinguished - suspect that the year there were a whole four of us passed the 11+ was Memorable - but there were some good teachers.
I don't know how one calibrates into all this my mother knowing the teacher of Infants 1 and asking her about whether I could go to school once I had turned 5 (having an autumn birthday) and her saying, oh, send her along, on account of my mother thinking I was entirely ready.
And then the Head saying I should do the 11+ technically a year early - (which was not a given, people did get kept back)
Going to a fairly academically-intense girls' grammar school, where I did get the odd spot of class-hassle, I realise in retrospect (including from horrid Mrs B of the really weird ideas about sex), where I was marked out as university material and my parents exhorted to keep me on the sixth form -
Which they were entirely happy to do.
So yes, I was I suppose supported on my academic journey. But some of that was external factors, like the existence of that extinct phoenix, full student grants.
Culinary
Feb. 22nd, 2026 08:16 pmThis week's bread was a Standen loaf, strong brown/buckwheat flour, maple syrup, malt extract - but due to electric scale going weird and giving strange readings, the proportions got very odd and it turned out larger and a lot denser than usual, if still edible.
Friday night supper: Gujerati khichchari, with pinenuts.
Saturday breakfast rolls: adaptable soft roll recipe, 4:1 strong white/buckwheat flour, a touch of maple syrup, dried cranberries, turned out rather well.
Today's lunch: Scottish salmon tail fillets baked in foil with butter and lime slices; served with La Ratte potatoes boiled with salt and dill and tossed in butter, buttered spinach and baked San Marzano tomatoes.
(no subject)
Feb. 21st, 2026 11:42 pmA day remains (1789 words) by Eccentric_Hat
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Miss Kenton/Mr Stevens (Remains of the Day)
Additional Tags: Time Loop
Summary:
Mr Stevens attempts to discover what is on Miss Kenton's mind after their unsettling encounter in his pantry.
He tries again.
And again.
(no subject)
Feb. 21st, 2026 04:28 pmBooks and screens: Everyone is panicking about the death of reading usefully points out that panic and woezery over reading/not-reading/what they're reading etc etc is far from a new phenomenon:
We have been here before. Not just once, but repeatedly, in a pattern so consistent it reveals something essential about how cultural elites respond to changes in how knowledge moves through society.
In the late 19th century, more than a million boys’ periodicals were sold per week in Britain. These ‘penny dreadfuls’ offered sensational stories of crime, horror and adventure that critics condemned as morally corrupting and intellectually shallow. By the 1850s, there were up to 100 publishers of this penny fiction. Victorian commentators wrung their hands over the degradation of youth, the death of serious thought, the impossibility of competing with such lurid entertainment.
But walk backwards through history, and the pattern repeats with eerie precision. In the 18th and early 19th centuries, novel-reading itself was the existential threat. The terms used were identical to today’s moral panic: ‘reading epidemic’, ‘reading mania’, ‘reading rage’, ‘reading fever’, ‘reading lust’, ‘insidious contagion’. The journal Sylph worried in 1796 that women ‘of every age, of every condition, contract and retain a taste for novels … the depravity is universal.’
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In 1941, the American paediatrician Mary Preston claimed that more than half of the children she studied were ‘severely addicted’ to radio and movie crime dramas, consumed ‘much as a chronic alcoholic does drink’. The psychiatrist Fredric Wertham testified before US Congress that, as he put it in his book Seduction of the Innocent (1954), comics cause ‘chronic stimulation, temptation and seduction’, calling them more dangerous than Hitler. Thirteen American states passed restrictive laws. The comics historian Carol Tilley later exposed the flaws in Wertham’s research, but by then the damage was done.
I'm a bit 'huh' about the perception of a model of reading in quiet libraries as one that is changing, speaking as someone who has read in an awful lot of places with stuff going on around me while I had my nose in a book! (see also, beach-reading....) But that there are shifts and changes, and different forms of access, yes.
Moving on: on another prickly paw, I am not sure I am entirely on board with this model of reading as equivalent to going to the gym or other self-improving activity, and committing to reading X number of books per year (even if I look at the numbers given and sneer slightly): ‘Last year I read 137 books’: could setting targets help you put down your phone and pick up a book?:
As reading is increasingly tracked and performed online, there is a growing sense that a solitary pleasure is being reshaped by the logic of metrics and visibility. In a culture that counts steps, optimises sleep and gamifies meditation, the pressure to quantify reading may say less about books than about a wider urge to turn even our leisure into something measurable and, ultimately, competitive.
Groaning rather there.
Also at the sense that the books are being picked for Reasons - maybe I'm being unfair.
Also, perhaps, this is a where you are in the life-cycle thing: because in my 20s or so I was reading things I thought I ought to read/have read even if I was also reading things for enjoyment, and I am now in my sere and withered about, is this going to be pleasurable? (I suspect chomping through 1000 romances as research is not all that much fun?)