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I'm Reviewing the Situation
In the interests of having this conversation as few times as possible, and because I just had an almost perfect dialog on the subject with Warren...
It's been a really, really hard month. My anxiety over the law school stuff has spilled into every corner of my life and has, I'm pretty sure, made me a very unpleasant person to be around. Certainly I haven't wanted to be around me.
On the bright side, I now have the beginnings of a plan, which is what I tend to need to focus myself and operate as a functional human being. This morning I woke up without hating myself for the second or third day in a row, which I count as a net win. \o/
In short: this rotten life is not for me, it's getting far too hot for me, I think I'd better think it out again. &c.
But! Stuff that has made me happy in the last two or three days:
Q: How are the law school applications going?
A: I have decided not to apply to law school.
Q: How come?
A: I am pretty sure I subconsciously decided not to apply to law school when I failed to have a transcript or recommendations by this weekend. On Friday I admitted to myself what was up.
Q: So what do you think you want to do instead? If any idea at all.
A: Working on figuring that out. I basically lost my law school steam after I started looking at Information Science programs. Which I did too late to apply for IS programs for Fall '10. So, I need to figure out what I want to do between now and fall '11. Options include:
(a) Keeping my current job - a poor choice that will result in me being driven insane.
(b) Working part time somewhere and taking classes at SF state while I apply for grad school.
(c) Getting another job.
Right now I am leaning towards (c) but it comes with a risk of delaying grad school even longer.
Q: That sounds somewhat unpalatable.
A: (d) Applying to Global Health Corps in the next five days and moving to Africa for a year.
Q: Question about (b), how do you feel about the lower standard of living? Would you be fine doing something like working the apple store or internet tech support? I love (d), but that might be a bit intense.
A: For (b) I would definitely need to adjust the way I live a LOT for that to work. But I think I could do it. And I kind of like doing tech support.
Q: I liked that it was an easy job that i could leave at work.
A: Yeah.
Q: But i got bored. It's not a career, it's a job.
A: I could also do freelance web stuff, but it's way harder to say "now I am at work, now I am not at work" with that sort of job. And it's hard to balance that sort of thing with school work. I'm trying to decide if I want to email a friend of a friend to apply for a job at his startup.
Q: I concur. To the point that I would have an office to do that work in. Startup might make grad school very tough for next year.
A: Yeah. That's the most intense version of (c). I would basically be giving my soul to the startup until it went under or got bought. Given my level of risk-aversion, it's probably a really bad idea. On the other hand, it could be a fun ride. And what they're doing is closely related to the sort of stuff I'd be studying if I went to do IS.
It's been a really, really hard month. My anxiety over the law school stuff has spilled into every corner of my life and has, I'm pretty sure, made me a very unpleasant person to be around. Certainly I haven't wanted to be around me.
On the bright side, I now have the beginnings of a plan, which is what I tend to need to focus myself and operate as a functional human being. This morning I woke up without hating myself for the second or third day in a row, which I count as a net win. \o/
In short: this rotten life is not for me, it's getting far too hot for me, I think I'd better think it out again. &c.
But! Stuff that has made me happy in the last two or three days:
- Caucasian Chalk Circle at ACT was SO GOOD. I am probably going to go again before it closes. I would be willing to watch Omozé Idehenre go on a Quest with Manoel Felciano singing narration until the end of time.
- Today is Mary Lyon's birthday, and I am going to an alumnae club tea at Ghirardelli Square to celebrate.
- I'm designing the invitations for a friend's wedding, and I spent yesterday afternoon with her and her fiance, looking at paper and giving them a tour of the Center for the Book type cases. I have been missing having a printing project.
- I spontaneously bought tickets to visit
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militantgeek in April! I haven't seen her since May '07.
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