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Meme time!
Ok, it's Saturday and I don't actually want to spend my afternoon writing unit tests like I planned, so MEME! (Via ![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fifteendozentimes, lalejandra, and others.)
The Hypothetical AU Meme: Take any one of the fandoms (crossover fandoms count as "a fandom", or feel free to just choose pairings) you know I write AND give me a type of AU (space opera AU, pirate AU, superhero AU, etc) or another time period (Ancient Rome, Regency England, etc). I will then explain what story from that fandom I would AU in that era.
Completed:
Clark/Lex Rockstar AU
Ryan Ross: Faily Revolutionary Poet
fifteendozentimes, lalejandra, and others.)The Hypothetical AU Meme: Take any one of the fandoms (crossover fandoms count as "a fandom", or feel free to just choose pairings) you know I write AND give me a type of AU (space opera AU, pirate AU, superhero AU, etc) or another time period (Ancient Rome, Regency England, etc). I will then explain what story from that fandom I would AU in that era.
Completed:
Clark/Lex Rockstar AU
Ryan Ross: Faily Revolutionary Poet
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another option: something about clark and lex in which they are members of rival bands! (do you write clark and lex or just enjoy them as a pairing? *creeps through your journal archives*)
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But I want to come up with a DIFFERENT professional bodyswap AU that isn't just "my ideal Quantum Leap episode". *shakes fist*
So while I let that percolate, on the Clark/Lex side...
Clark and Lex used to have a garage band together in high school. Lex played the guitar and Clark, who was very shy, played the drums. Lex was, of course, incredibly in love with Clark and the way his skin glowed and the joy on his face when he was caught up in his drumming and didn't see anyone else around him. Clark, being FUCKING CLARK, noticed none of this and spent entirely too much time telling Lex exactly how much of a geek he was and how no one would ever like him. There was constant awkwardness, because Lex would do things like buy Clark entire new kits all the time, and then Jonathan would get stern and lecturey and make Clark feel bad about it, and Clark would turn around and make *Lex* feel bad about it, and Lex would get self-defensive and hook up with someone else and Clark wouldn't even *say* anything about it, just look quietly betrayed.
But what neither Clark nor Lex knew at the time was that Clark was secretly the lovechild of an Jor L, the drummer of an incredibly famous 70s rock band, who abandoned him with the Kents when he was tiny. And at some point, Jor L secretly came to one of Clark and Lex's gigs and was like "holy shit, my kid can drum, I totally want to adopt him back. And Clark was like, no, I love my family, it's cool that you're majorly famous, I just want to do my own thing, thanks?
And Clark, as we know, is the dumbest person ever, so Clark decided to keep the whole thing a secret, but Lex could tell something was going on, and spent a lot of time and energy doing research and then finally figured it out. And he was like WOW THAT IS SO COOL! And Clark was like, "I can't believe you betrayed my trust and spied on me like that. We can never be friends again." And basically walked out of Lex's life.
So now it's years later, and Lex is a world-famous rock star. Mostly he's famous for his emo songs about how his daddy never loved him and he wishes he could marry ~somebody~ and be a part of their family. He's always really dodgy in interviews about exactly who the ~somebody~ is, and there's tons of speculation all over the internet.
Clark, meanwhile, is a well-known music critic at the Daily Planet, and basically got a lot of his fame for constantly panning Lex's music, and it really pisses Lex off.
So, Lex has got this really huge show, and naturally Clark's in the audience so he can write a sarcastic review of it for tomorrow morning's paper, and Lex knows Clark's in the audience, and maybe he had a little too much to drink before he went onstage, because he sashays out towards the side of the stage where the press area is, and he's like "This song is for him. That guy, who I always wanted to have in my life, and who always thought he and his family were too good for me. He does nothing but criticize, but he's still the one, and he always will be."
And he's basically got his eyes locked with Clark's and everyone else in the audience can see that he does, which means that Clark, who has always been very careful to make himself the author and not the subject of music news, suddenly has everyone else in the press box eyeing him hungrily, and no matter what he writes about this show, he's going to be the story of the week. Which probably means the whole Jor L connection is finally going to be discovered, and basically Clark is professionally fucked from a "staying below the radar" perspective.
After the show, Clark slams into the dressing room unannounced and is just like "What the fuck, Lex? Why do you always have to do this shit? You push and you push and you try to get under my skin, and I just don't get it. Is it some sort of revenge for the press? Or for quitting our stupid band when I was 17? I don't get it."
And Lex just looks at him like, have your really listened to none of my music? At any point in time?
And Clark is like, "Why are you doing that weird cryptic staring thing? You always do that weird staring thing as though it's supposed to mean something. I hate you."
And ok, Lex can't take it anymore, but he sucks at explaining himself outside his songs, and it's not as if Clark would listen to him anyway, so he shoves Clark back against the door of the dressing room, stands up on his tiptoes, grabs hold of Clark's hair, and pulls him down for a kiss. For several seconds that go on forever, Clark just stands there dumbly, and that pisses Lex off more than anything, so Lex bites Clark's lower lip, and Clark's mouth sort of drops open in shock, and Lex licks in viciously.
At which point, Clark pulls back and looks down at him, and his standard self-righteous betrayal look slowly begins to melt into the shock of realizing what Lex was trying to say with the lyrics that he's been calling trite and overwrought for *years.*
And finally, *finally*, Clark closes his eyes in embarrassment mixed with a little bit of shame about exactly how much of a jerk he's been. Eventually, he brings one of his (giant freakish farmboy drummer) hands back around to cup the base of Lex's skull and leans down to kiss him gently, rough fingers stroking into the dip just above his neck. Lex relaxes and lets him control the kiss, although he can't help getting in a few more nips here and there, because Clark has been making him wait forever, and his feelings on the subject have gotten increasingly violent over the years.
Clark eventually pulls back, and for a little while he just keeps blinking dumbly at Lex, and finally he says, "Ok. Um, I need some time to figure this out. I… I've gotta… just… be alone for a bit." And Lex is pretty exasperated, but he holds his hands up to his sides and steps back to let Clark walk out of the dressing room.
Where, just as Lex pretty much suspected, he's met with dozens of flash-bulbs documenting exactly how red and swollen his lips are, how messed up his hair is from Lex's grip, and how bright he flushes as he shoves by them to get outside the building to go home.
Because yeah, Lex may be pretty much hopelessly in love with Clark, but he's not an idiot about how these things work. And if Clark, with all his industry experience, is going to be this much of an idiot? He absolutely deserves what's coming to him.
He looks at himself in the mirror and sees exactly how ruffled up *he* is from the kiss, lips bruised and shirt rucked up from the hand Clark had around his waist. He makes no move to fix it, and after the crowd outside has calmed down from Clark's departure, he opens the dressing-room door and leans outside.
The cameras immediately turn back to him again. "No comment," he tells them blandly, and winks.
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...Maybe he faked his own death?
@BLUESTALKING
(Anonymous) 2011-07-30 10:31 pm (UTC)(link)Ryan Ross: Faily revolutionary poet. WARNINGS: REVOLUTIONARY VIOLENCE
I.JUST.I.YEAH.
[before I go any further, I should note that last night
me:
Olivia: Obviously. So, Ryan's Enjolras, Spencer's Marius, and Brendon's Cosette?
me: Basically, except it's actually the French Revolution, not--
Olivia: --not 1832, I know. Whatever, Brendon's still Cosette.
me: Also, as if Ryan could ever be Enjolras. He's Lègle, at best.
Olivia: IS GERARD JOHANNA CONSTANTINE?]
So, it's 1788 or 1789 and Ryan hangs out all the time in Jon Walker's coffee shop with Greenwald, talking about the glorious post-revolutionary future and flirting with Z and Tennessee. Because, fun fact, even during the French Revolution Jon Walker makes coffee. That is just how the universe works.
Ryan has read his Jefferson, and his Russeau, and when he's not writing strident pamphlets, he is writing fervent poetry about liberté, egalité, fraternité, etc. The revolution will be glorious! It will right all wrongs!
His best friend, Spencer, is concerned that Ryan's expectations are not quite on par with reality, but Ryan dismisses them, because Spencer's a known pessimist, and just doesn't understand how awesome and glorious everything is going to be. Spencer points out that under Ryan's very own ideals, some of their own friends could be in danger. For instance, their good friend Brendon may have been as poor as them growing up, but his great-uncle is the Comte de Uri, which means he's technically part of the second estate. There are SHADES OF GRAY when you're part of the petit bourgeoisie! Ryan scoffs.
So then there's the Storming of the Bastille and all that jazz, and Ryan writes some really quite moving poems on the subject, which really capture the ~~humanity of the escaped prisoners. There's a tide of change on the wind, a certain thrill humming through the streets, and Ryan just wants to capture this moment forever.
Things go on over the course of the revolution. The Reign of Terror's going on and Ryan writes a series of poems full of gory imagery about the heads of the oppressors being freed along with everything else. Spencer keeps disappearing for weeks at a time but Ryan's too caught up in the fervor of the moment to pay any attention to that sort of thing. He doesn't actually have a particularly strong political affiliation, just a lot of enthusiasm, but his particular brand of fervent and violent poetry catches the interest of some people close to Robespierre, and pretty soon he's the It Poet of the Republic. He gets to use metaphors about wolf intestines! How great is this?
Inevitably, Ryan's patron eventually does something to piss off Robespierre, and within a day he and his entire following are personae non gratae in Paris. Ryan's flabbergasted. He just loves the revolution and wants to write poetry about it! Why is he suddenly hiding from the police? That's not supposed to happen! What happened to liberté? By which he means, his own personal liberty! Suddenly he's hiding in basements certain that if he leaves them, his neck is going to be the next one under the guillotine!
DON'T THEY REALIZE WHAT A GUILLOTINE DOES TO SCARVES LIKE HIS? NOT TO MENTION THE BLOOD STAINS?
So, Ryan huddles helplessly in basements for a few days, and then one night he hears a familiar whisper. It's Spencer! Who has spent the last few years basically becoming the Scarlet Pimpernel without Ryan noticing! And he's here to spirit Ryan and his friends off to England! Hurrah!
The crossing is hard and once they get to England, he hates everyone and everyone hates him. And stupid Spencer is apparently in love with that Uri kid or something? But at least he is not dead.
Finis.
Re: Ryan Ross: Faily revolutionary poet. WARNINGS: REVOLUTIONARY VIOLENCE
Re: Ryan Ross: Faily revolutionary poet. WARNINGS: REVOLUTIONARY VIOLENCE
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I am not doing the meme, so I don't think you can make demands, but if you like, I will dust off what there is of the MCR Bloomsbury AU and send it to you. There's an outline. Actually it has a whole Scrivener file.
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(Anonymous) 2011-08-01 03:50 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2011-08-01 03:50 am (UTC)(link)-eccentric_hat
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(Anonymous) 2011-08-01 03:51 am (UTC)(link)no subject
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(This prompt brought to you by having seen this recently--the relevant bit is six minutes in.)