Meme time!

[epershand]

Ok, it's Saturday and I don't actually want to spend my afternoon writing unit tests like I planned, so MEME! (Via fifteendozentimes, lalejandra, and others.)

The Hypothetical AU Meme: Take any one of the fandoms (crossover fandoms count as "a fandom", or feel free to just choose pairings) you know I write AND give me a type of AU (space opera AU, pirate AU, superhero AU, etc) or another time period (Ancient Rome, Regency England, etc). I will then explain what story from that fandom I would AU in that era.

Completed:

Clark/Lex Rockstar AU
Ryan Ross: Faily Revolutionary Poet

Comments

Ryan Ross: Faily revolutionary poet. WARNINGS: REVOLUTIONARY VIOLENCE

[epershand]

OH MY GOSH HOW CAN THIS BE ABOUT ANYTHING BUT RYAN ROSS BEING THE WORLD'S MOST PRETENTIOUS REVOLUTIONARY EVER.

I.JUST.I.YEAH.

[before I go any further, I should note that last night oliviacirce and I had the following discussion:

me: bluestalking prompted me with the French Revolution. Obviously it is about Ryan Ross, pretentious revolutionary.
Olivia: Obviously. So, Ryan's Enjolras, Spencer's Marius, and Brendon's Cosette?
me: Basically, except it's actually the French Revolution, not--
Olivia: --not 1832, I know. Whatever, Brendon's still Cosette.
me: Also, as if Ryan could ever be Enjolras. He's Lègle, at best.
Olivia: IS GERARD JOHANNA CONSTANTINE?]

So, it's 1788 or 1789 and Ryan hangs out all the time in Jon Walker's coffee shop with Greenwald, talking about the glorious post-revolutionary future and flirting with Z and Tennessee. Because, fun fact, even during the French Revolution Jon Walker makes coffee. That is just how the universe works.

Ryan has read his Jefferson, and his Russeau, and when he's not writing strident pamphlets, he is writing fervent poetry about liberté, egalité, fraternité, etc. The revolution will be glorious! It will right all wrongs!

His best friend, Spencer, is concerned that Ryan's expectations are not quite on par with reality, but Ryan dismisses them, because Spencer's a known pessimist, and just doesn't understand how awesome and glorious everything is going to be. Spencer points out that under Ryan's very own ideals, some of their own friends could be in danger. For instance, their good friend Brendon may have been as poor as them growing up, but his great-uncle is the Comte de Uri, which means he's technically part of the second estate. There are SHADES OF GRAY when you're part of the petit bourgeoisie! Ryan scoffs.

So then there's the Storming of the Bastille and all that jazz, and Ryan writes some really quite moving poems on the subject, which really capture the ~~humanity of the escaped prisoners. There's a tide of change on the wind, a certain thrill humming through the streets, and Ryan just wants to capture this moment forever.

Things go on over the course of the revolution. The Reign of Terror's going on and Ryan writes a series of poems full of gory imagery about the heads of the oppressors being freed along with everything else. Spencer keeps disappearing for weeks at a time but Ryan's too caught up in the fervor of the moment to pay any attention to that sort of thing. He doesn't actually have a particularly strong political affiliation, just a lot of enthusiasm, but his particular brand of fervent and violent poetry catches the interest of some people close to Robespierre, and pretty soon he's the It Poet of the Republic. He gets to use metaphors about wolf intestines! How great is this?

Inevitably, Ryan's patron eventually does something to piss off Robespierre, and within a day he and his entire following are personae non gratae in Paris. Ryan's flabbergasted. He just loves the revolution and wants to write poetry about it! Why is he suddenly hiding from the police? That's not supposed to happen! What happened to liberté? By which he means, his own personal liberty! Suddenly he's hiding in basements certain that if he leaves them, his neck is going to be the next one under the guillotine!

DON'T THEY REALIZE WHAT A GUILLOTINE DOES TO SCARVES LIKE HIS? NOT TO MENTION THE BLOOD STAINS?

So, Ryan huddles helplessly in basements for a few days, and then one night he hears a familiar whisper. It's Spencer! Who has spent the last few years basically becoming the Scarlet Pimpernel without Ryan noticing! And he's here to spirit Ryan and his friends off to England! Hurrah!

The crossing is hard and once they get to England, he hates everyone and everyone hates him. And stupid Spencer is apparently in love with that Uri kid or something? But at least he is not dead.

Finis.

Re: Ryan Ross: Faily revolutionary poet. WARNINGS: REVOLUTIONARY VIOLENCE

[oliviacirce]

HAHAHAHAHAH SPENCER IS THE SCARLET PIMPERNEL. Amazing.

Re: Ryan Ross: Faily revolutionary poet. WARNINGS: REVOLUTIONARY VIOLENCE

[epershand]

I choose to believe that they were roommates and Ryan just DIDN'T NOTICE for four years.