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[epershand]

I keep being obsessed with Auden's Christmas Day poem to Chester Kallman.

Because it is in you, a Jew, that I, a Gentile, inheriting an O-so-genteel anti-semitism, have found my happiness:
 
          As this morning I think of Bethlehem, I think of you.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Because, suffering on your account the torments of sexual jealousy, I have had a glimpse of the infinite vileness of masculine conceit;
          As this morning, I think of Joseph, I think of you.
 
Because mothers have much to do with your queerness and mine, because we have both lost ours, and because Mary is a camp name;
As this morning I think of Mary, I think of you.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Because, on account of you, I have been, in intention, and almost in act, a murderer;
            As this morning I think of Herod, I think of you.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Because I believe in your creative gift, and because I rely absolutely upon your critical judgement,
           As this morning I think of the Magi, I think of you.
 
Because you alone know the full extent of my human weakness, and because I think I know yours, because of my resentment against being small and your resentment against having a spinal curvature, and because with my body I worship yours;
          As this morning I think of the Manhood, I think of you.
 
Because it is through you that God has chosen to show me my beatitude,
           As this morning I think of the Godhead, I think of you.
 
Because in the eyes of our bohemian friends our relationship is absurd;
           As this morning I think of the Paradox of the Incarnation, I think of you.
 
Because, although our love, beginning Hans Anderson, became Grimm, and there are probably even grimmer tests to come, nevertheless I believe that if only we have faith in God and in each other, we shall be permitted to realize all that love is intended to be;
           As this morning I think of the Good Friday and the Easter Sunday implicit in Christmas Day, I think of you.

Quoted from Kirsch's introduction to The Sea and the Mirror

In the last six months I've fallen head over heels into Fandom: Mid-Twentieth Century Artistic Queers Who Hung Out With Christopher Isherwood. It started with Britten, spread to Auden, and I am dangerously close to dropping everything and running to pick up a copy of Berlin Stories so that I can be genuinely fannish about Isherwood, not just fannish about Isherwood via Cabaret. I'm still trying to figure out if Blitzstein, who I have adored since high school, gets to come and play in the fandom despite having been KILLED BY PIRATES in the 30s. (No really!)

Part of me wants to put of a Crack-Van style summary of them, but that seems just silly. I am pretty sure that Isherwood would be the little black dress of the fandom, because he brought everyone to Hollywood and got them all jobs working on motion pictures. Auden is the suave slightly older fellow, being much more out than everyone and pushing them onward into decadent gay lifestyles. Britten is the perpetually young, perpetually repressed golden boy, who everyone seems to have had a thing for. Sadly, Blitzstein is too busy getting killed by pirates to hang out with anyone but jerky Brecht.

Comments

[eccentric_hat]

Auden does so many extraordinary things in this poem. It's bold and brave and honest, which is very nearly enough for ordinary mortals who try to write poetry. Meanwhile there's some kind of rhetorical jujitsu going where his relationship with Kallman is on a bit of a social fringe and "absurd" and, simultaneously, located at the center of the Christian universe. (Now that I've typed that sentence it looks quite Kierkegaardian, though I have no idea what Søren K. would make of this association.) I feel like there's an entire theology of incarnation folded inside this poem, not despite but because of how incredibly personal and specific it is.

The fact that it turned out to be kind of a farewell is just...well, it takes the whole thing and gives it another twist.

[epershand]

I love how much it feels, structurally, like a reading from a prayer book. It's got space for the person leading a service to speak, and for the audience to respond, it's structured in clear parallels, etc. It feels like it should be read at the front of a room addressing the multifaceted nature of one's relationship with G-d.

And it takes that structure and turns it into an intimate narrative about a personal relationship, full of flaws and human weakness and any number of sins. So it winds up elevating human vanity and weakness to the level of a deity in a way that's just ::breathtaking::.

o tell me the truth about love

[eccentric_hat]

You're right! I hadn't made the prayer-book connection but you are completely right. I kind of want to live inside the religious zeitgeist of Auden and company, except for where I'm not sure there are any women in it.

Couple mostly-unrelated reading points:
1) I'm reminded of Rowan Williams' lecture "The Body's Grace," which is kind of about the Anglican church and homosexuality and kind of about how religious people deal with having bodies. He wrote it well before becoming Archbishop of Canterbury but it still seems to come up a lot.
2) Have you read Louis MacNeice? He and Auden were buddies and I tend to group them together in my head. MacNeice wasn't gay as far as I know so he may not be part of this party you're planning, but his poetry sometimes achieves a similar level of odd poignancy; my favorite of his is "Sunlight in the Garden," which is also just one of my favorite poems, period.

[damned_colonial]

I would *love* to read a crack van summary for this fandom!

Btw, you know naraht, right? She is obsessed with Britten/Pears. If you don't know her, you should!

[epershand]

Wow, I do not. And now reading her journal's archives has just filled me with so.much.glee. Thank you much for the pointer!

[damned_colonial]

She keeps showing up near me whenever historical RPF is being discussed, which I think is how I got to know her fannishly. Or maybe I just picked her up in my early DW friending spree. Who knows! Anyway, she keeps trying to lure me (and everyone) into her fandom, but I really do want a crack van type post to get me started... ideally with pictures and wikipedia links and whatever else.

[naraht]

I am evil that way. And I think we met back when there were only about two hundred people on DW, so everyone sort of had to band together. :)

[naraht]

Thank you for the introduction. :)

[damned_colonial]

You're welcome! I love it when this happens! *smooshes reading list together*

Via the network, hoping that's okay

[rydra_wong]

Thank you for posting this poem; I didn't even know of its existence, and it's fascinating.

Re: Via the network, hoping that's okay

[epershand]

Hurrah, glad to spread the Auden love everywhere! I don't know how much you know about the Auden/Kallman relationship, but Auden wrote this when the sexual part of their relationship was ending.

[naraht]

I gather I have damned_colonial to thank for the introduction. How do you do. :)

In case it wasn't obvious from my journal, I am totally in the same fandom as you, albeit I came via a completely different route. I'm still on Britten at the moment but I've read a certain amount on Isherwood too. Have you read Lions and Shadows? It's a great book and it seems to be public domain... I can't remember whether I found it from the Internet Archive or Google Books, one or the other. I also really liked Peter Parker's biography of Isherwood, which is well-written and immensely thorough.

It would seriously make my month if you were to write a Crack Van style summary. Like, I would pay good money to read it. You are so right about Britten. Everyone lusted after him and he was so darling and so oblivious. At least until one night in Grand Rapids...

[epershand]

Indeed you do have her to thank. :) Pleased to meet you!

My route in is rather circuitous and started via the Alan Bennett play The Habit of Art (which is really not one of his best works, but which left me hungry for more actual information about Britten and Auden). Coming from that angle, I read Britten's Children and got hooked on Auden's poetry.

With Britten's operas, I'm still struggling a lot with how much I dislike Pears's voice. I've definitely fallen for Turn of the Screw, but I haven't been able to talk myself into enjoying the music in Death in Venice just yet...

I haven't read any Isherwood at all yet--he just ::keeps coming up:: in the biographies of everyone else I'm following in the period, and it's clearly time for me to give in and become obsessed with him too. Thanks for the recommendations!

Britten's obliviousness makes me so happy. I'm just glad Pears was there to help him past it. I sort of suspect that he would have happily gotten all his kicks from playing tennis with everyone for the rest of his life otherwise. Poor everyone else though, for not getting there first.

[naraht]

Ah, Habit of Art. I've been reading the reviews with interest but haven't seen it yet and I'm not in a great hurry to do so... the general impression I've got is that it says a lot more about Alan Bennett than it does about Auden and Britten. That could be unjust, I don't know.

I have very mixed feelings about Pears' voice. I love him in some things (Peter Grimes most notably), and yet in other things he can be deeply embarrassing to listen to. I find Ian Bostridge is a good interpreter of Britten's music; I usually listen to him when Pears seems like too much.

I agree that if Britten hadn't met Pears, he might well have remained alone permanently. Lucky for both of them it all worked out so well. Others did try to get there first (Lennox Berkeley, poor dear!) but Britten was not easily won.

[epershand]

The thing about The Habit of Art was that I just kept wishing I could be watching the play-within the play, instead of the sort of meandering play about editing and rehearsing the play. But I am grateful that it left me wanting a lot more. :)

I suspect that I'll eventually come around to liking Pears' voice at least some of the time--I managed to get fond of Lotte Lenya, and her voice is as non-normative as a professional singer as Pears' is.

Oh, poor Lennox Berkeley. He tried ::so hard::

[damned_colonial]

So, did you know about this? I just found it in a totally roundabout way.

[epershand]

No, I didn't! Thanks for the pointer.