In honor of a GQ motherfucker

[epershand]

So, oliviacirce is applying for an internship at her university's archives, and is being angsty about writing a cover letter. So I wrote one for her.

So, oliviacirce. I think you need to take a long look at this GQ motherfucker, because she is the one you are going to hire.

Lemme tell you about her experience for the job. She has a motherfucking Masters of Research in Renaissance Lives and Letters, and you better fucking believe that to get that baby she kicked some archive ass. She can read more fucking alphabets for transcribing English and Latin than you can take a stick at and even those bitches at the British Library were all "woah, back up" and let her look at the physical copies of the Countess of Bedford's letters when she told them their microfiche copy was bullshit.

Fuck, the world wouldn't know about fucking stares for starlings if it weren't for this glorious badass. Now she's getting her fucking PhD, and you better fucking believe that her research foo is going to knock you all on your motherfucking asses, and that she will be all up in your primary documents before you can say "woah, Olivia banged your mom too?"

You better be giving her a stipend for all the time she's going to be in your archives. Look at this badass fucking photo she took:

(Olivia claims that some of this is factually incorrect. But who do you believe, me or her?)