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THE DEAD: BEST ZOMBIE MOVIE
GUYS GUYS GUYS! ![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kuwdora talked me into going to see a zombie movie tonight and it was the best zombie movie that I have ever seen! Not that I have a wide range of experience with zombie movies but HOMG UH-MAZING.
I used up all my clever quips about the movie in conversation with![[twitter.com profile]](https://p.dreamwidth.org/e0caa790ec10/-/twitter.com/favicon.ico)
paperpenguin so I have cleaned up the conversation for you below.
(As I tweeted: "Best thing about The Dead? Probably intell. honesty. Expecting anything but White Guy Survives Zombie Apocalypse Africa is your own fault.")
me: BEST ZOMBIE MOVIE
Becca: i'm sensing that!
<3
me: it was just pure masculinity, in one two-hour experience about a white dude surrounded by african zombies
Becca: hahahahaha that's...that's terrible
XD
me: IT KNEW EXACTLY WHAT IT WAS
when he meets African Sidekick Who Totally Doesn't Die Until Act IV, Sidekick is like "I don't understand your people. You send soldiers here to kill us and doctors here to heal us. What are you trying to do?"
White Guy says "Look, I'm just a mechanic. I just fix things. Like… engines and stuff."
that is the movie's final word on colonialism
Becca: XD
that's kind of amazing
me: (periodically the movie attempts to have dialog. it's always a mistake)
Becca: hahaha
me: except in the way where it's awkward and stilted and people keep repeating themselves and not really understanding one another
Becca: XD
me: but then they start killing zombies again or deal with spinning tires or the engine running out of coolant or need to soldier together a broken radio
and the movie is suddenly brilliant again
Becca: hahaha
good
me: or there is YET ANOTHER CLOSEUP OF THEIR FEET IN HEAVY MAN-BOOTS AS THE WALK
Becca: XD XD XD
me: it's great because it is half zombie-killing and half things from my rural childhood
it is the most id-indulgent YOU, yes YOU, random white guy, could GO TO AFRICA and SURVIVE THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE using the man-skills you ALREADY HAVE
Becca: pfffffffff
man-skills
me: there was this scene where a woman gives him her baby and then he has to shoot her because she's been zombie bitten
and we were like oMG WILL THERE BE A SEQUENCE WHERE HE HAS TO CHANGE THE DIAPERS BEFORE THE ZOMBIES COME?
Becca: ....was there
me: but there's just a little montage of him walking with the baby and then a truck full of living people comes by and he gives them the baby and doesn't get on himself?
turns out that diaper-changing wasn't the kind of everyday skill the director was into fixating on pornographically
Becca: hahahaahhaha
me: also DID YOU SEE THE PHOTO OF THE POSTER I TWEETED?
Becca: i did!
me: AFRICA! MONKEY SKULL! BLACK HANDS!
just…. wow
Becca: YUP
me: OH AND THERE'S THIS SEQUENCE AT THE BEGINNING where it cuts from White Guy looking at a photo of his hopefully-not-dead wife and child (spoiler: they're dead) to Sidekick looking at a photo of his dead wife and not-dead child
MANPAIIIIIN
Becca: hahahahaha
me: we were cracking up through the whole movie, it's a good thing the theater was mostly empty or I'd feel guilty
Becca: <3 <3 <3
me: and we'd make paul gross arms and shout "yes!" for the most exciting zombie kills
and we were obsessed with the slow zombies and their hilarious slow turns
the zombies were incredibly believable, it's like they ripped the hypothetical zombies out of my brain and made them all african
and all the cuts of broad expanses of Ghanian scenery were gorgeous
kuwdora talked me into going to see a zombie movie tonight and it was the best zombie movie that I have ever seen! Not that I have a wide range of experience with zombie movies but HOMG UH-MAZING.I used up all my clever quips about the movie in conversation with
(As I tweeted: "Best thing about The Dead? Probably intell. honesty. Expecting anything but White Guy Survives Zombie Apocalypse Africa is your own fault.")
me: BEST ZOMBIE MOVIE
Becca: i'm sensing that!
<3
me: it was just pure masculinity, in one two-hour experience about a white dude surrounded by african zombies
Becca: hahahahaha that's...that's terrible
XD
me: IT KNEW EXACTLY WHAT IT WAS
when he meets African Sidekick Who Totally Doesn't Die Until Act IV, Sidekick is like "I don't understand your people. You send soldiers here to kill us and doctors here to heal us. What are you trying to do?"
White Guy says "Look, I'm just a mechanic. I just fix things. Like… engines and stuff."
that is the movie's final word on colonialism
Becca: XD
that's kind of amazing
me: (periodically the movie attempts to have dialog. it's always a mistake)
Becca: hahaha
me: except in the way where it's awkward and stilted and people keep repeating themselves and not really understanding one another
Becca: XD
me: but then they start killing zombies again or deal with spinning tires or the engine running out of coolant or need to soldier together a broken radio
and the movie is suddenly brilliant again
Becca: hahaha
good
me: or there is YET ANOTHER CLOSEUP OF THEIR FEET IN HEAVY MAN-BOOTS AS THE WALK
Becca: XD XD XD
me: it's great because it is half zombie-killing and half things from my rural childhood
it is the most id-indulgent YOU, yes YOU, random white guy, could GO TO AFRICA and SURVIVE THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE using the man-skills you ALREADY HAVE
Becca: pfffffffff
man-skills
me: there was this scene where a woman gives him her baby and then he has to shoot her because she's been zombie bitten
and we were like oMG WILL THERE BE A SEQUENCE WHERE HE HAS TO CHANGE THE DIAPERS BEFORE THE ZOMBIES COME?
Becca: ....was there
me: but there's just a little montage of him walking with the baby and then a truck full of living people comes by and he gives them the baby and doesn't get on himself?
turns out that diaper-changing wasn't the kind of everyday skill the director was into fixating on pornographically
Becca: hahahaahhaha
me: also DID YOU SEE THE PHOTO OF THE POSTER I TWEETED?
Becca: i did!
me: AFRICA! MONKEY SKULL! BLACK HANDS!
just…. wow
Becca: YUP
me: OH AND THERE'S THIS SEQUENCE AT THE BEGINNING where it cuts from White Guy looking at a photo of his hopefully-not-dead wife and child (spoiler: they're dead) to Sidekick looking at a photo of his dead wife and not-dead child
MANPAIIIIIN
Becca: hahahahaha
me: we were cracking up through the whole movie, it's a good thing the theater was mostly empty or I'd feel guilty
Becca: <3 <3 <3
me: and we'd make paul gross arms and shout "yes!" for the most exciting zombie kills
and we were obsessed with the slow zombies and their hilarious slow turns
the zombies were incredibly believable, it's like they ripped the hypothetical zombies out of my brain and made them all african
and all the cuts of broad expanses of Ghanian scenery were gorgeous