And people want to believe in animal metaphors, because we have an EVOLUTIONARY NEED to anthropomorphize things and think about them as being like us. Historically, this is because the cavemen needed to not kill babies or something so they evolved to be super into metaphors. This one time I saw a piece of string lying on the porch outside my high school economics class and I swear to you, it looked exactly like a stick figure of a running person. And it ROCKED MY WORLD. In conclusion, SCIENCE.

My immediate response upon reading this paragraph was to flap my arms and look around the room for something I could give you in reward for writing it. That doesn't make any sense, but I was probably just manifesting an atavistic desire to give gifts in exchange for things of value.