epershand: Quark, looking suspicious. (Quark is not impressed)
epershand ([personal profile] epershand) wrote2012-04-02 10:56 am

FUCK YOU I LOVE BELLA SWAN

This morning I got my ranty-pants on on the subject of Bella Swan. The following is presented almost entirely unedited; though I've removed my interlocutor's portion of the conversation to protect the innocent.

mostly i am just bitter people keep bashing bella swan in favor of katniss
bella swan's my GIRL
I FUCKING LOVE BELLA SWAN, and everyone needs to step off

every time I read another article that is like "this katniss is awesome unlike that wet blanket bella swan" I am like :((((

I really need to write my IN DEFENSE OF BELLA SWAN essay

LOOK EVERYBODY TWILIGHT IS A SERIES OF BOOKS ABOUT A NORMAL GIRL UNDER INTENSE PRESSURE TO BE PERFECT WHO HAS TO PARENT BOTH HER PARENTS
AND THEN NOBODY TRUSTS HER WHEN SHE TELLS THEM WHAT SHE WANTS AND SHE IS LIKE "FUCK YOU" AND TAKES IT ANYWAY
BELLA SWAN KICKS ASS
and then when she gets her vampire super power it is SUPER-PROTECTIVENESS

and she is an atheist who mostly wants to get laid and the only time edward does things she doesn't like it is romantic things
and she is like BACK OFF I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. DON'T GIVE ME A CAR RADIO
SCREW YOU I DON'T WANT TO PUT ON A PRETTY DRESS AND GO TO PROM
and then she is like GIVE ME SEXIN
and edward is like BUT YOU ARE A DELICATE FLOWER
and she is like FUCK THAT NONSENSE
and he is like OK I ADMIT IT I AM ACTUALLY THE DELICATE FLOWER
and she is like AWWW OK I GUESS I WILL GET MARRIED BUT ONLY TO GET LAID *rolleyes*
bella is the best
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[personal profile] were_duck 2012-04-02 06:03 pm (UTC)(link)
lol lol lol A FAIR AND VALID DEFENSE. I GUESS.
meloukhia: Red stockinged legs in black heels, standing next to a watering can with a red flower. (Inking up)

[personal profile] meloukhia 2012-04-02 06:08 pm (UTC)(link)
This is amazing.
allchildren: appa is alarmed (⇩ ahem)

[personal profile] allchildren 2012-04-02 06:43 pm (UTC)(link)
I FEEL SO MUCH OF THIS POST MY GOD

my complaint wrt bella is the story she is couched within. twilight is turrible. but bella is a weird kinkster and i respect that. (sometimes liz phair's entire album "whip-smart" plays out in my mind as the twilight au about the little bella that could)
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[personal profile] azurelunatic 2012-04-02 06:48 pm (UTC)(link)
I WAS SO FUCKING MAD AT EDWARD FOR KINK-SHAMING HER OKAY
allchildren: joan holloway rubbing her shoulder (⚥ the hindrance and the weight)

[personal profile] allchildren 2012-04-02 06:56 pm (UTC)(link)
The thing that makes me maddest is Alice bullying her CONSTANTLY into social situations she hates and performing some vision of femininity that is not her own. OMFG. BELLA IS A FUCKING INTROVERT AND SHE DOESN'T NEED YOU TO DRESS HER SHE IS A GROWN PERSON GODDAMN!!!!!!! The fact that this is painted as friendship despite Bella hating it 100% of the time makes me want to scream.
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[personal profile] allchildren 2012-04-02 06:58 pm (UTC)(link)
THAT IS WHY NEW MOON IS MY FAVORITE AND WHEN I GOT RID OF ALL THE BOOKS I BOUGHT IN A MOMENT OF WEAKNESS I KEPT THAT ONE

EDWARD IS GONE THE ENTIRE TIME

AND BELLA'S IDEA OF FUN IS PURPOSEFUL BRUSHES WITH DEATH

WHAT A BIZARRE BADASS
azurelunatic: A glittery black pin badge with a blue holographic star in the middle. (Default)

[personal profile] azurelunatic 2012-04-02 06:48 pm (UTC)(link)
I think the main reason my inner 14-year-old girl identified so hard with Bella Swan was because of her love of purple prose.

THIS IS A VALID AND DEFINING CHARACTER TRAIT OKAY. IT MAY BE THE AUTHOR SEEPING THROUGH BUT IT IS STILL A CHARACTER TRAIT. AND IT SIMULTANEOUSLY GETS TRASHED AND THEN NOT EVEN ACKNOWLEDGED AS PART OF HER CHARACTERIZATION.


The series also gives me the embarrassment squick because I *remember* being that teenage girl, except I was not actually that popular.

... Huh, that's an interesting point. Bella has traces of fear-of-being-bullied that normally I might not expect to see in someone who has not been bullied, but that never really winds up happening to her in Forks. I wonder how bad her last school was?
azurelunatic: A glittery black pin badge with a blue holographic star in the middle. (Default)

[personal profile] azurelunatic 2012-04-02 07:50 pm (UTC)(link)
I bet there was some point in her childhood where she was all "Look at me I am the special badass" and then HER BODY BETRAYED HER and everybody laughed.

... I can't remember whether her mother stuffing her into ballet lessons was canon or just INSIDE MY HEAD. But that would totally make sense. The ONE MOMENT she thought she might be special, and then NOPE TOTALLY NOT.
azurelunatic: A glittery black pin badge with a blue holographic star in the middle. (Default)

[personal profile] azurelunatic 2012-04-03 01:52 am (UTC)(link)
I think Charlie is far more competent than Bella gives him credit for, but Bella's mom is fully as scatterbrained when it comes to day-to-day life skills as Bella thinks. (Though I think she's probably more emotionally competent than Bella gives her credit for.) I vaguely recall one point where Charlie points out that he managed to eat before Bella showed up, and he would be just fine eating when she wasn't around. There was probably just a lot of takeout and frozen stuff (like the way I tend to cook when I'm busy and otherwise low-spoon).

And yeah, I also got the very strong impression that Bella didn't hate Forks because it was Forks, she hated it because it wasn't Phoenix where she would have preferred to be.
likeadeuce: (buffysurvive)

[personal profile] likeadeuce 2012-04-02 06:50 pm (UTC)(link)
COSIGNED!!!
sasha_feather: black and white image of female general (lady general)

[personal profile] sasha_feather 2012-04-02 08:38 pm (UTC)(link)
<3333333
crazybutsound: (Twilight freak)

[personal profile] crazybutsound 2012-04-02 08:51 pm (UTC)(link)
<333333 I LOVE BELLA AND EVERYBODY ALWAYS MOCKS ME FOR IT! THIS POST IS AWESOMESAUCE.
crazybutsound: (Twilight freak)

[personal profile] crazybutsound 2012-04-02 09:04 pm (UTC)(link)
YAY TO DRINKING TO THE BELLA LOVE!
aamcnamara: (Default)

[personal profile] aamcnamara 2012-04-02 09:15 pm (UTC)(link)
I agree! Twilight does not hit my buttons, but Bella's pretty awesome.
aria: (Default)

[personal profile] aria 2012-04-03 12:38 am (UTC)(link)
Yessss. I mean, I am eye-rolly anyway about all the "Katniss is great and this is an excellent opportunity to talk about how terrible Bella is!" because OH YES OF COURSE WE CAN ONLY LIKE ONE LITERARY HEROINE AT A TIME ugh ugh ugh. But also YES BELLA. Her books are way problematic! But all these things you say are so, so true and ahhh I think I need your In Defense of Bella Swan essay.
aria: (Default)

[personal profile] aria 2012-04-03 06:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Oooh yes that is an excellent encapsulation! And I also suspect a pretty good defense of Bella as a character with merit.
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[personal profile] trouble 2012-04-03 01:03 am (UTC)(link)
There is nothing that irritates me in quite the same way as hating on Twilight, especially from people who are simply shocked! when I ask them why they have such a passionate hate for teen girls.
meganbmoore: (team girl)

[personal profile] meganbmoore 2012-04-03 01:40 am (UTC)(link)
I thought about signing up for the Twilight panel for WisCon but I also signed up for the one about attitudes towards Romance novels and realized that (1) either or both will hopefully be awesome, but could also turn rather heated and I can likely only handle 1 heated panel if that happens and (2) I've still only read the first 2 books and the bit of the Edward book, and I'd probably need to read the other 2 and watch the movies first...
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[personal profile] meganbmoore 2012-04-03 10:59 pm (UTC)(link)
I hope to go! I thought about signing up anyway but I'm also doing whatever I'm told to do at The Gathering and this will be the first WisCon for BOTH of my roommates, so I decided to limit myself to 2. And then when it was too late, I realized I could have listed all 3 but requested to only be put on 2 (and hoping that all 3 ended up with more volunteers than strictly needed) but oh well.

I really do need to read the other 2 books eventually. And I suspect Snow White and the Huntsman (Bella punched out Thor!) is going to turn me into something of a Kristen Stewart stan. Though, a large part of the interest of the books for me is that they exist entirely within the female gaze (I'm told that changes later...) even though the creator of that particular gaze has some real issues in many ways, and I'm not sure I could sit through it without that element.

Are you on the Twilight panel? (Or rather, did you volunteer/submit it?)
fifteendozentimes: (Default)

[personal profile] fifteendozentimes 2012-04-03 01:41 am (UTC)(link)
i love you & i love bella & you are ridiculous
bluestalking: (Default)

[personal profile] bluestalking 2012-04-03 01:13 pm (UTC)(link)
I could cope with her co-dependency on her vile boyfriend but she was mean to the girls who tried to be her friends in a new fucking school and from every moment where that happened I hated her fucking guts.
dolores_crane: Harry and Snape looking happy with text 'OTP' (Default)

[personal profile] dolores_crane 2012-04-06 12:52 am (UTC)(link)
Oh! That was the bit I liked! I have NEVER EVER EVER seen a teenage girl slope into a school all alienated and fucked-up and cool like James Dean and not have to fall over herself being anxious and grateful and 'like me! like me! what do I have to do to keep you liking me??? let me do it more!!' as soon as some other girl was nice to her! THANK YOU BELLA.

(Someone randomly linked me to this post, btw, epershand, and I can't even believe how right you are. I had heard such awful things about Twilight and then I saw the first movie and it was about this excellent girl whose boyfriend is all like 'No! I must not kiss you because I might LOSE CONTROL AND HURT YOU!' and she is like, 'No you won't, don't be ridiculous, the solution is perfectly simple, kiss me but don't hurt me' and he is like 'Oh! Okay! That is perfectly simple! Now let's go climb a tree with my MAGIC POWERS!'. Which is not at all what I had been told.)
dolores_crane: Harry and Snape looking happy with text 'OTP' (Default)

[personal profile] dolores_crane 2012-04-06 12:53 am (UTC)(link)
I have NEVER EVER EVER seen a teenage girl slope into a school all alienated and fucked-up and cool like James Dean and not have to fall over herself being anxious and grateful

I mean I have never seen it in a movie. I have seen it in real life a bajillion times.
bluestalking: (Default)

[personal profile] bluestalking 2012-04-06 12:55 am (UTC)(link)
Seriously? She spends the whole book calling these people her friends and being nasty to them while they are legitimately nice to her with no apparent ulterior motives or condescension. I'm not saying she should fall over herself. I'm saying she's a jerk. A sort of boring jerk, which is probably the main reason it doesn't work.
dolores_crane: Harry and Snape looking happy with text 'OTP' (Default)

[personal profile] dolores_crane 2012-04-06 01:17 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, seriously: it looks to me exactly like the kind of behaviour that gets male characters 'romantic hero' or 'interestingly damaged' or 'deep' status, and gets female characters punished or dead. (I mean, she treats them all better than Harry Potter treats any of his 'friends', let alone Snape). Am basing this all on the films, though, so we might well be at cross purposes, of course.
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[personal profile] bluestalking 2012-04-06 01:18 am (UTC)(link)
As I said, her behavior in the movie didn't bother me at all; I liked her in the movie. I hated her in the book. So yeah, that is pretty definitely a cross-purpose.

But, I mean--I also dislike Harry more than basically any other Harry Potter character, and that is one of the reasons. So maybe I just don't like catty entitled fictional high schoolers.
dolores_crane: Harry and Snape looking happy with text 'OTP' (Default)

[personal profile] dolores_crane 2012-04-06 01:21 am (UTC)(link)
I think our comments crossed there! And Harry is a dreadful person, but I like it when girls get to be dreadful in the way that boys do and not get punished for it. (Also, I do like catty entitled fictional high schoolers, for some reason, though usually not real ones. Hmmm.)
bluestalking: (Default)

[personal profile] bluestalking 2012-04-06 01:27 am (UTC)(link)
I like a lot of catty entitled fictional adults, so I'm not sure what my criteria for likeability is... (although I don't think either JKR or Stephenie Meyer is quite aware enough of their protagonists' nastiness for me to really enjoy it--authorial awareness, in general, is really really important to me as a reader.)

I believe you about the consequences for m/f characters being different (or, you know, only existing for female characters), but I'm drawing blanks on examples. What should I be thinking of that's escaping me?
dolores_crane: Harry and Snape looking happy with text 'OTP' (Default)

[personal profile] dolores_crane 2012-04-06 01:32 am (UTC)(link)
Ha! I am going to have to go away and think about this one also! It's a thing I've been talking about in the abstract for so long that all my examples have fled... ::blushes::
bluestalking: (Default)

[personal profile] bluestalking 2012-04-06 01:33 am (UTC)(link)
I know exactly how that is. HAVE NO FEAR.
bluestalking: (Default)

[personal profile] bluestalking 2012-04-06 12:56 am (UTC)(link)
Also Bella is much more pleasant in the first movie than she is in the first book. Which is one of several reasons that I like the first movie, and hate the book.
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[personal profile] sophinisba 2012-04-03 05:46 pm (UTC)(link)
I love Katniss a lot and I'm not into Twilight but fuck yeah, THERE IS MORE THAN ONE WAY FOR GIRLS TO BE AWESOME OKAY. This is a great post.
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[personal profile] helens78 2012-04-03 06:53 pm (UTC)(link)
THANK YOU! I love Katniss, but goddamn, people, stop bashing Bella in her honor! KATNISS WOULD NOT APPROVE.